


Breathe

by moonchime



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Break Up, Friends With Benefits, Getting Back Together, Goodbye Sex, Light Angst, Living Together, Love Bites, M/M, Mutual Pining, No beta we die like illiterates, Non-Explicit Sex, Pining Kuroo Tetsurou, Pining Tsukishima Kei, Post-Break Up, Reunions, Smoking, Undefined Relationship, i literally just wrote this, low-key pining suna, wow tagging is a lot harder than I thought
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:21:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28585659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonchime/pseuds/moonchime
Summary: part 1 (suna x tsukki): bad habits“Suna was like a cigarette. An addiction he didn’t have the heart to quit. So someone had to do it for him.”part 2 (kuroo x tsukki): breath of fresh air“But standing here in his presence, Tsukki just can’t help himself from giving into temptation. However this temptation doesn’t feel so sinful like Suna did, it feels comfortable.”
Relationships: Implied One-Sided Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Suna Rintarou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 1
Kudos: 42





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> read ‘forty degrees celcius’ and then decided I needed to write fluffy sunatsukki. somehow I ended up with this vaguely angsty piece with endgame kurotsukki *shrugs*
> 
> also this is binge-posted so please ignore the mistakes! part 2 is a continuation of part 1 and takes place a few months to maybe a year after the first 
> 
> (note this is my first fic so kuroo might be a little ooc, along with tsukki in part 2 bLamE iT on the pining & tipsiness!!)

part 1: bad habits

Suna would press soft kisses into tsukki’s tender flesh and grip his hips just a bit too hard. And maybe to the quiet of the night, tsukki could admit that his heart fluttered. But this was not love. And it would hurt when they had to depart, something tsukki only had the heart to think about when he was having a smoke. Given Tsukki smoked quite frequently. But what’s another bad habit? 

Suna was a bit like that cigarette. Sure it would clear his head for a minute, but in the end it wouldn’t erase his thoughts. It wouldn’t erase all the deep searing pain. And it would clog his lungs, and make him choke down sobs. But he would still take another drag, and he would still kiss Suna a little longer.

Tsukki wouldn’t call himself and Suna roommates. Suna still had his own home and Tsukki still paid for his own apartment, but a number of days in the week Suna would fine himself at Tsukkis. 

He’s not sure how they came together exactly, they just sort of did. Middle of their lives and no longer high on life, most first already completed with someone else. 

Tsukki should’ve suspected something was wrong when Suna showed up later than usual, and didn’t mock Tsukki for his too sweet coffee creamer. 

He supposes most things with Suna tend to feel wrong. They weren’t good for each other. He wouldn’t call their not relationship toxic, but it definitely wasn’t progressive for either of them. 

Most times it seemed that they were just filling a void. Tsukki didn’t talk about it when he stared through an onigiri and picked at it rather than eating it. In return Suna didn’t talk about how Tsukki had a red volleyball jacket in his closet that certainly didn’t belong to him. 

Tsukki took a shower as Suna sat drinking his cup of coffee, just a plain black ceramic mug. 

When he got out of the shower the coffee had barely been touched and the balcony door was open. 

Suna stood on the railway staring out and he could see smoke billowing from the cigarette between his teeth. 

“Thought you said you quit?” Suna always said he quit smoking, then he smoked again. But usually he tended to smoke with Tsukki, taking drags of his rather than lighting his own. 

Suna didn’t respond to him and took another drag. When Tsukki tried to reach out for it Suna moved it away from him wordlessly. 

They didn’t say anything, but Tsukki stared. Sure, Suna would sometimes tell Tsukki cigarettes were bad for him, but he would still let him smoke. More often than not Suna didn’t bother saying anything because he was filled with his own bad habits. This felt different though.

Suna smushed the cigarette in the ashtray and didn’t say a word as he pushed himself against Tsukishima. 

Suna kissed him just that bit harder than usual. Biting his lip, and dragging a wine out of Tsukki’s lips. Most nights Suna was gentle with kisses and took his time, almost possessive in the way he gripped Tsukishima’s hips. But this didn’t seem like most nights.

Suna didn’t bother leaving bruises on his skin. Didn’t let his lips linger like a tattoo, that of which tsukki’s fingers would linger for the next few days until the reminder inevitably faded. 

Suna just left. And even though there was no visible evidence on his skin that he even existed, tsukki could feel an ache in his chest. 

Tsukki knew it even then. When Suna nearly made his lip bleed and took his time pressing his hips into Tsukki just to watch the way he arched his back, Suna wouldn’t be there in the morning. 

Suna allowed Tsukki to press bruises into his neck, and down his chest, and between his thighs. But Suna restrained himself from leaving any kind of mark. 

With a heavy sigh he stepped out to the balcony and grabbed his pack of cigarettes, only to realize Suna smoked the last one. Suna was like a cigarette. An addiction he didn’t have the heart to quit. So someone had to do it for him. 

Suna was merciful, determined for Tsukki not to waste away even as he let himself hold on to gentle reminders. 

Tsukki shed a tear as he deleted Suna’s number from his phone. He quietly took out the trash, with the empty cigarette pack. He dumped out the cold bitter coffee, that didn’t taste quite like Suna with Tsukishimas far too sweet creamer in it. 

This would hurt for a bit, but in the end it was for the best. And at the end of the day he could breath a little clearer. 

__________

part 2: breath of fresh air

Bad habits were much harder to quit when you had memorized their number by heart. Something tsukki hadn’t even realized himself until he stopped himself while more than tipsy but not quite drunk. Not drunk enough to click call. That was the night tsukki found himself slipping on a coat and walking to the small store near his apartment. 

He knows it’s another bad habit, just another form of self destruction. But a cigarette around his lips will only kill him, it won’t make him cry. At least not on its own. 

He’s not precisely sure why he’s gotten so worked up over Suna. Sure he was pretty, really pretty. And his lips felt nice on his skin, pressed against him. But that wasn’t something to cry over. Lust shouldn’t have lingered like hurt. 

It wasn’t love, Tsukki’s quite sure of it. Even with the shared cigarettes, and the arguing over coffee (Suna’s was too bitter, and Tsukki put far too much creamer in his), and the shitty television (stuck between watching something dinosaur related and literally anything else). 

Maybe tsukki missed the simple companionship. Tsukki supposed he had found himself needing someone. Someone to fill the empty void. With Suna he had dropped the cigarettes, which was just another distraction. 

He found his fingers lingering over the pack of cigarettes. They were far too expensive for all the health problems they caused down the line, but they were a constant. Maybe tsukki had an addiction, so what?

Just as he found himself heading for the pack, a voice suddenly stopped him dead in his tracks. 

“Tsukki?” 

Tsukki cursed under his breath, the talk man probably heard him but his bleary mind couldn’t bring himself to care much. 

The older just stared. He looked like he had seen a ghost, and in a sense maybe he had. Tsukki hadn’t seen the man in far too long. Enough for even his tipsy mind to feel slightly at a loss for words. 

“Kuroo.” 

The man still found himself staring at Tsukki and it set him on edge. He knew it had been a while, and he knew his hair was mussed and he kind of looked like shit. But did he have to stare?

“Kei- Tsukki. Wow, i-“, Kuroo’s cheeks were flushed as he stumbled over each word. 

“Eloquent as usual, Kuroo-san.” He didn’t bother to linger over the way his name tumbled out of the others mouth on instinct. Nor the way he fought his own mind to not call him Testu, even as the fondness seeped into his tone.

Kuroo seemed to snap out of his reverie a bit as he straightened his suddenly tight collar and smirked, “You look good. What are you doing in Sendai?” 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? I live here, last I checked you were centered in Tokyo.” And that simple acknowledgment that he had been keeping up with Kuroo’s whereabouts brought a knowing look to the other’s face. Fuck, Tsukki really shouldn’t have said that, shouldn’t have been drinking, and should certainly not be taking the time to stare at Kuroo. 

“My job’s a bit everywhere. They have a Sendai division which I was thinking about transferring over to. Right now I’m trying to recruit someone. You played against him in highschool, Suna Rintaro.” 

Tsukki chokes on nothing at all, causing Kuroo to stare at him. So much for subtlety. He gently pats his back, before Tsukki moves away from his hand. He didn’t bother to look at Kuroo’s face. Worried that he would see too much of Tetsu. The Testu that he was when he didn’t have to pretend for anyone. Especially not Tsukki, Kei, moonshine. 

“Tsukki are you okay-“

“I’m fine,” Tsukki cut him off before Kuroo could bother with concern. Shit. Fuck! No more drinking ever again. “I should get going.” This is what bad habits bring you. Awkward encounters and uncomfortable situations.

Before Tsukki could walk away Kuroo grabbed his arm. “Can I at least walk you home, it’s the least I can do.” 

Tsukki knows he should say no. He’s pretty sure walking home with Kuroo is just the beginning of another bad habit. But when Kuroo looks at him with that look. The look he always gave him. The look that made him fall a long time ago, just seems to drag him back under. 

Kuroo and Tsukki walk in relative silence, or at least Tsukki does. Kuroo talks about his job and what’s he’s been up to. Tsukki mainly knows, mainly kept up with him. Though he’s glad for something to fill up the silence, which Kuroo must know. Kuroo always knows. 

It’s almost strange how well Testu- Kuroo, knows Tsukki. It scared him when he was younger, not fully understanding the world and still a bit too rough around the edges. Not to say Tsukki’s not still a bit rough, but he’s not what he was. Scared of what the world had to offer and Kuroo ready to show him. It was too much for both of them, especially when they barely knew themselves. Right person, wrong time he supposes. 

Tsukki barely realizes he’s at his apartment, even if he was the one guiding them there since Kuroo was still a stranger to the city. 

As they stop at his apartment, Tsukki notices Kuroo has been silent. He looks over only to notice their hands are gently interlaced. Tsukki’s not quite sure when that happened, but based on the deep flush on Testu’s face he’s quite sure it was his own doing. 

Tsukki’s got a bit of headache, but with the wind blowing on him and the dim streetlights cascading down on the pair, he doesn’t really want to let go. 

Before Kei can stop himself the words tumble out of his mouth, “So have you decided to transfer over to Sendai?” And fuck why did he sound so eager. Maybe because he hopes this time it’s the right time. Long assured that Kuroo was his forever person, even if it wasn’t in this lifetime.

In this life he’s almost sure Kuroo will just lead him into another downward spiral. But standing here in his presence, Tsukki just can’t help himself from giving into temptation. However this temptation doesn’t feel so sinful like Suna did, it feels comfortable. 

Kuroo hesitates for a moment and Tsukki feels like his breath is caught in his throat. “I wasn’t so sure before.”

“And now?” Tsukki’s quite sure his answer will make or break him. It shouldn’t, but it might. Tsukki’s pretty strong, but Kuroo’s always managed to make him all mushy inside. 

“I think it might offer quite a few opportunities,” He says squeezing eyeing Kei deliberately, “But I should probably check out more of the city before I decide. Maybe you can show me around?”

Tsukki feels the hold around his hand tighten, and he can’t help but grip back just as firmly. “When do you check out of your hotel?” 

“Two days from now.” 

“Shit I have work those days,” He can see the disappointment well in Testu’s eyes, he’s never been quite able to hide around Kei. So used to baring himself at every moment especially when Tsukki couldn’t, “You can stay at my place! Unless you have something to get back to, which is totally cool.” Tsukki swears he’s usually much more put together. Kei agrees, tipsiness he can deal with it, but Testu’s here baring himself, trying for him. Kei can’t help but to bare just a bit of himself too. 

“Oh, uh. Yeah. I mean no, I’m not busy that sounds good.” 

Plans to see each other in place, Kei heads inside. But not without the gentle whispers of sweet dreams moonshine, and goodnight testu leaving their lips. They don’t kiss, there was the want to do so but it didn’t feel like the right time. Regardless they both leave with a smile on their faces. 

And if Tetsu found himself extending his stay at Kei’s apartment to become a permanent resident, it’s not like Kei minded much. Curled up under the covers, watching Jurassic Park and sharing a slice of strawberry shortcake. Testu would always encourage his addictions, but Kei doesn’t find himself choking with the weight of these ones. 

In matching dinosaur onesies, Kei feels like he can finally breathe. His lungs feel a little clearer, and for a moment he realizes that he hadn’t taken a smoke in months.

If Suna felt like a cigarette, Kuroo felt like a breathe of fresh air. One that made Tsukki feel a bit lighter, and maybe that’s how it was supposed to be.


End file.
